Moments
by Small Chemist
Summary: 06: And by “he and Ellen came to a mutual decision to break up”, he means his heart was ripped out from his chest and he’s never going to be okay again.
1. Advice

**Advice**

"Really?" Alex said, before hoisting himself onto the countertop. "That much, huh?"

"Yes, Alex! I can't help it if mom and dad hate him, I just…I love him." Mallory said with a hopeless sigh. Alex started, but held himself in check.

"You know…mom and dad _really _aren't gonna like this."

"They just don't understand—"

"I'm pretty sure they'll understand, Mal. Just not like it."

"But why not?" Mallory whined. "They like Ellen." Alex stared at her.

"Don't compare MY Ellen to Neanderthal Nick." Mallory let out a hopeless moan. Alex tried to smile reassuringly.

"Listen, you can still make mom and dad like Nick if you just… you know, uh…" Alex made cryptic hand gesture. "Mold him a little more?"

"What do you mean?" Mallory said, looking at Alex with some skepticism.

"Make him into something they like, alright?" Alex said, eyes alight. "Just feed him a bunch of lines that'll make mom and dad love him. Tell him to say he wished he could've joined Woodstock or something." Mallory looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I don't know if Nick knows what Woodstock is."

"Just tell him it's a rock band." Alex supplied helpfully.

"Do you really think that'll work?"

"Only if Nick doesn't screw it up." Alex said with complete honesty. Mallory smiled at him for a moment.

"You know, Alex. You're really great. In a terrible sort of way." Alex just grinned cheekily.


	2. Beneath

**Beneath **

Jennifer doesn't talk about it, but she's seen Alex cry before. Quite a few times actually, but neither of them will admit to that. They're both embarrassed about it, and Alex is just grateful Jennifer hasn't told anyone.

This time, however, Jennifer isn't sure if she can keep this to herself. This time Alex isn't just angry with slips in his perfect facade, or worrying himself sick about things that haven't happened (and mostly likely never will). It's real, this time, Jennifer thinks, but she can't be sure of it.

She sees his lamp on and creeps quietly towards the door, the back of Regan's picture frame glowing eerily in the lighting. The door is open so she doesn't bother knocking.

"Alex?" She whispers quietly and feels the room tense.

"Yeah, Jen." She hears him, and that's enough permission to come inside. She flops on his bed beside him and curls into a little ball.

"Why are you sad today, Alex?" Jen asks softly, and Alex turns to look at her, propping his head on his hand. She doesn't see any tears, but it might just be the darkness covering them up.

"I think I miss being a kid." Alex says, and takes a moment to pause. "Actually, I don't think I ever was a kid."

"You were definitely a kid, Alex." Jen says, playing the shrink. "You still are."

"That's just it-- I'm _not._" Alex says, and scrunches his eyebrows together. "I feel like I've missed all of it. Childhood."

"You didn't miss it Alex. You just liked different things from other kids." Jen says, and Alex has to admit she makes a good point.

"I just wish I could go back… if I could just be your age again and try something else… I wonder how I would turn out."

"You wouldn't like it." Jen points out. "It wouldn't be you. I wouldn't like it either." Alex smiles sadly, and Jen hates it when he does that. She tries another tactic.

"My piggybank's full again. Could we go to the bank after school tomorrow?" Alex actually grins this time, and musses her hair while Jen fends him off.

"Definitely. But remember, I charge for being your chauffeur."

"That's alright. I charge for my good company." Jen says, and Alex pretends to ignore her.


	3. Calculation

**Calculation**

Alex remembers teaching Mallory long division. And doesn't.

"Okay. So 9,025 divided by five. You can do this Mallory, I know you can."

"Um…so five goes into twenty-five, five times…"

"Yes. But that's beside the point." Eleven-year-old Alex said, sitting beside his sister at the kitchen table. He reached out a hand to point to the problem again. "See you start with 5 going into 9, okay?" Mallory nodded, looking at the kitchen clock. "Mal…"

"Okay. Um. Five goes into nine… I don't know, like one point seven?" Alex looked at his sister hopelessly.

"Come on, Mal. This is the eighth time we've done this. It goes in once. Just once. So you write the one up here." Alex picked up the pencil to erase Mallory's shoe-like doodles, placing a one above the equation. "Okay see? Now what do you do?"

"One can't be the answer, Alex. That's way too small." Mallory said with smug satisfaction. Alex was at a loss for words. He took a deep breath.

"Wow Mallory. You are absolutely correct. So what do we do now?" Mallory stared at Alex with a frown.

"Are you making fun of me?" She asked, eyeing her brother with skepticism. Alex stood up with a noise of frustration.

"No! Now after you put the one on top, you say "One five is five" and put the five under the nine." Alex said, scribbling a five onto the paper. Mallory giggled absently.

"You're so funny looking when you're mad, Alex." Alex ruffled his hair furiously.

"Mallory stop already! You have a test tomorrow!" Mallory only smiled.

"You act like Dad too."

"_Yeuurghh."_

Alex remembers waking up at the table sometime later, Mallory still beside him frantically yelling, "I GOT IT ALEX, I GOT IT," with a huge grin on her face, and himself smiling weakly.

He also remembers Dad mentioning the bruise on Alex's forehead might have been from the number of times Alex banged his head against the wall that night, but Alex can't recall if that actually happened.

Mallory says it did, but he isn't sure if he wants to know.


	4. Dad

**Dad **

Stephen Keaton always assumed he was a simple man. He liked football, and jogging, and peace. And he loved his wife more than he thought imaginable. He had everything he wanted.

But then Alex was born. He was very tiny and very cute with blue eyes and a button nose, and Stephen realized what he had always wanted was fatherhood.

He watched Alex grow up more intensely than his daughters, as he supposed a father would with his only son. He was small, but intelligent, Stephen remembered thinking. He was so bright. And he liked school. Stephen didn't like school this much when he was a child.

He loved his little boy, and wanted to teach him about football. When Alex was eight, they threw a football around outside. Alex fumbled with it more than caught it.

"Plant your feet on the ground more. You're not steady on your feet." Stephen said. Alex looked frustrated.

"I am." He said. "I just keep falling over." Stephen stopped to watch Alex solemnly for a moment and decided perhaps sports weren't exactly the best track to put Alex on when he was so much smaller than the other boys.

He tried another tactic. "Alex," He said one day to his ten-year-old. "You're doing very well in school. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate that." Alex replied. So mature, Stephen thought vaguely.

"So I've decided to raise your allowance. How do you like that?" Alex grinned broadly, and Stephen loved the way he could change into a little boy again.

"Really? Oh wow, could we deposit it in the bank?" Again with the bank. Stephen worried about this money fascination sometimes.

"Sure, I'll go do that later today. Just remember to keep up the good work." Stephen ruffled Alex's hair and Alex mock-frowned at him.

"Okay. Can do." He said simply and left the table to put the dishes in the sink.

Stephen remembered Alex was never as much of a boy as he was now at twenty-two, in New York City and away from his family in a lonely apartment.

"Dad?" Alex voice crept through the phone line uncertainly.

"Yes Alex I'm still here."

"I'm scared."

"Did you lock the doors?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't worry and just try to get to sleep."

"I think I'm gonna leave the light on." Stephen smiled.

"Good idea."

"I'm sorry for calling so late."

"You don't have to apologize for that. Family comes before anything."

"I think I forget that sometimes." Stephen shook his head.

"You don't Alex." He heard Alex make a derisive noise. "Not in the end anyway." Stephen added. Alex chuckled.

"I guess…well, I should go to sleep now. Love you, Dad." The phone went quiet and Stephen allowed himself a small smile.

Perhaps he really was a simple man. After all-- being a dad was all he ever really wanted.


	5. Elise

**Elise**

Elise was going to name her first born son Alex Freedom Keaton. When she told Stephen, he said that was a wonderful idea. When she told her brother Ned, he said she was an idiot. She scolded him, walked out, and reconsidered.

By the time Alex was born, Elise had convinced Stephen they should change his middle name and wrote down on the birth certificate Alexander P. Keaton. Ned approved, and said the chance Alex would get beaten up in school was down by about fifty percent. Elise never told him what she really had been calling her child.

Growing up, Alex often told his friends the P stood for Patrick. When he got tired of that he changed it to Peter. Alexander Peter Keaton, he wrote on his nametag the first day of first grade. A few boys beat him up anyway. His name was too fancy and Alex didn't get away fast enough.

When Alex had had enough of the fights he went back to his initials. APK. He liked the sound of it. It was still fancy, had that mature air Alex always wanted, but didn't get him attacked for it.

Later on, when he realized none of the girls really cared he had a fancy middle initial, he went back to just Alex.

Alex was much older when he asked his mother just _why_ she had only given him a middle initial and not a real second name. Elise smiled, smoothed his hair back.

"Because it suits you." She said factually. Alex gave her a look. She smiled a mother's smile and folded her hands. "That's the part of yourself I'm letting you decide. I wanted to name you Alex Freedom but your Uncle made fun of me." Alex smirked. Uncle Ned the business tycoon definitely would have had a good laugh at that.

"So is it Peter now or Patrick?" She asked. Alex had switched between the two names so often no one had bothered to keep up with it. Alex watched her for a moment, considering thoughtfully.

"Neither." He said finally. His mother watched him curiously as he stood, kissed her on the forehead and took the dishes to the sink.

Alex never told anyone what the P really stood for. He didn't think anyone outside his mother would take Alex Peace Keaton very seriously.


	6. Family

**Family  
**  
Alex stops eating a week after Ellen dumps him. And by dumps him, he means both he and Ellen came to a mutual decision to break up. And by "he and Ellen came to a mutual decision to break up", he means his heart was ripped out from his chest and he's never going to be okay again.

Point is, he's lost weight.

"Honey I know it's been hard on you," Elyse says, reaching out to rub her son's back even as he buries his head in his arms at the kitchen counter. He's just so tired. He doesn't even want to think anymore. And for Alex, that's like not wanting to breathe. "You've got to start taking care of yourself. You're not sleeping and you're not eating and we're all really worried about you. Your sisters too."

Alex somehow doubts that, and makes a noise of protest at the idea. Elyse smiles and strokes his hair. It's the first sign of life he's shown for a while now.

"Mallory offered to take you shopping." She says. Alex rolls his head to the side and peaks out at her from between the fingers covering his eyes.

"_Mommy_," he says, voice mock-serious and little rough. Not because he's trying to be but because he hasn't used it properly for enough days to matter. He gives her a look, one Elyse has come to know well. Her son is a handful, but even in the throes of his wallowing he still makes his opinion known_. You've got to be kidding me._

"She just wants to help, Alex. Now I think it's a great idea. Spend a little brother-sister bonding time together. What do you say?" She expects him to wave her off, to moan and groan and comment about the apocalypse coming, so she's a little surprised when he closes his eyes and doesn't pout as much as she had been expecting.

"I could get some new ties," he murmurs and Elyse smiles and scratches his head. "So I can hang myself." He adds miserably. Elyse doesn't miss a beat.

"That's the spirit." She says, and leans forward to kiss his forehead. She knows her boy, his sarcasm, his wit, his nerve, him. The point is he's going to leave the house, bicker with Mallory, and come home a little bit more put together than when he left. That's all she wants for him: to be whole again. Whole and pompous and ready to take on the world. Alex P Keaton, her smart and foolhardy boy.

"Pick up some ice cream too, will you? That ought to cheer you up." She stands up and lets him have his last moments of self-pity. Alex watches her go with an air of disappointment, which is odd considering he's spent the last 168 hours feeling nothing at all.

Yes, he's still good at math when he's depressed. The thought comforts him more than it should.

"Alex you've been moping around all week it's time to get up and go see the world!" Mallory declares. Alex opens his eyes and glares. He doesn't remember falling asleep at the table, but he vaguely recalls somebody poking him and a voice (he suspects Jennifer) muttering, "Do you think he's _dead_?"

So maybe there are worse ways to wake up, he agrees, and he manages to sit up properly to watch as Mallory checks her face in a compact.

"Mom say's we can't be gone too long since dinner's in a couple hours and Andy's already getting fussy. But I told her, "You can't rush the mall, Mom" and I think she won't mind if we get back later. I really wanted to check out the new skirts at Macy's. They have these really cute---"

"Mallory," Jennifer says. Alex is a little shocked it wasn't his voice that interrupted her. "Come on, I need a new backpack for school. Do your make-up later." Mallory sighs and says alright and Alex feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Up and at 'em," Stephen says with a grin. Alex gives a half-hearted smile meant for nobody and follows his sisters to the car.

---

The mall isn't like he remembered. Sure he argues with Mallory, tries to haggle down prices, and has an intellectual debate with Jennifer about the advertizing effects on consumerism while Mallory picks out shoes, but that's not the part that's different.

It takes him a little bit to notice, but he suspects he's the part that's different.

After a few hours, everything becomes a little brighter here. When Alex comments on it, Mallory just smiles like she knows everything and tries on a pair of earrings. "That's because it's the spirit of the Mall, Alex." She says.

Alex decides not to question it.

They buy Jennifer's backpack second, right after Mallory tries on three perfumes she couldn't afford to pay half the price on and sprays Alex with the forth when he tells her she smells like Skippy's basement in the springtime. Alex smells like Jasmine for the rest of the trip. He hates it.

In the back to school aisle, Jennifer points to a backpack and says, "I kind of want the purple one." Alex tells her the red one has more pockets, better storage for pens, room for an extra notebook, and a lock combination that would guarantee nobody ever got into her business. "I just want what's best for my sister." He says. Jennifer gets the purple one, and Alex buys it for her anyway.

They end up at Macys after the first hour and Mallory couldn't be happier. She's trying on skirts and shoes and a blouse Alex remembers Ellen owned. It's got Picasso on it. It's colorful and frilly. Ellen loved it.

"What do you think?" Mallory asks, smiling bright and spinning. Alex slouches in an armchair.

"It's great, Mal."Alex says, voice flat. Jennifer watches him curiously.

"I liked the yellow better." His younger sister pipes up, and Alex glances at her. Even if Mallory forgets, Jennifer's always understood Alex a little better. She notices things-- even if Mallory does remember Ellen's clothes like the back of her hand.

"Really?" Mallory says, looking back in the mirror. "You're right, me too. Okay definitely the yellow one."

Alex is a little too tired to say thank you, but he offers up a smile he hopes is grateful. He could never hate Ellen, but it would be only too easy to lose his mind if Mallory started wearing her clothes. Jennifer smiles back.

They pick up ice cream afterwards. In fact they pick up two kind of ice cream: chocolate chip and butterscotch. They're both Alex's favorites and even when he argued just for the butterscotch, Mallory and Jennifer agreed they were in the mood for chocolate chip as well. He isn't even suspicious until he thinks about it. And even then he just smiles doesn't question it. Life's too short.

"Welcome back kids. You guys have fun?" Stephen asks as Alex sets down the tubs on the kitchen counter.

"Jennifer got the wrong backpack." Alex volunteers, voice haughty but with a teasing grin, "And Mallory took two hours in the dressing room." Both of his sister's glare at him.

"Who smells like Jasmine?" Elyse asks as she stows the chocolate chip in the freezer.

"Alex." Jennifer says while Mallory sniggers.

Alex scowls, grabs the tub of butterscotch and heads to the table.

"I thought I told you two to be nice to your brother." Elyse says. Mallory shrugs and the girls share an identical grin.

"We were, mom. Don't worry." Mallory tell her. "But he's doing a lot better and we decided that wasn't necessary anymore."

"You know Mallory," Alex butts in, waving his spoon. "If we all stopped doing things because they weren't necessary then your brain would shrivel up from lack of use." Mallory raises her eyebrows at her mother.

"See what I mean?"

"I'm entitled to an opinion." Alex insists, raising his arms before anybody can protest. Elyse shakes her head, sits next to her son and borrows the spoon for a scoop of ice cream.

"I missed you honey." She says, handing the utensil back to him. Alex grins, knows he's not in trouble and leans back easily.

"I know. And so did the economy. I really wasn't working to my full potential while I was gone. I could have lost us thousands of dollars. What kind of contributor to society would I be if I let this keep up?" He has another bite of ice cream. Elyse is pretty sure he'd said something similar when he was five and explaining the economic disadvantages of naptime. She pets his hair fondly.

"I love you honey. Don't fill up on ice cream." Alex grins back at her. Sometimes, he thinks, only his family will ever really understand him. And if nobody else in the world does, well, he's still thankful for what he has.


End file.
